ALIA Expedition
Samoan Culture Report

Before sailing, we’ve had the opportunity to spend some time in Samoa, which has been an eye-opening experience.  It is a unique place in that it has not been overrun by tourists, yet.  It is an island of vertical jungle, fish packing plants, and spam.  Upon arrival, we had to deal with the tragically inefficient immigration and customs system that prepared us for the news that the government offices had recently been raided by the FBI, in relation to a series of ongoing cases of corruption.  We then boarded some beat-up faux-fur-lined taxis and headed out to the hotel/bar where we would be staying that night.  The air conditioning is brutal here, the air outside is close or above 90F/90%, in other words, pretty hot and oppressively humid, and the A/C is on overdrive.  It’s a good thing too, because if left to my own devices in this weather, I’d put on some barbecue and sit in a yard chair, under a palm tree for the rest of my life.  And I’d love it.

As with all places, there are some truly amazing people to meet.  At the local hang-out,  Tisa’s Barefoot Bar, drinks are mixed and meals are made by the dynamic duo of Candy Mann and Tisa.  Candy Mann is a ponytailed environmentalist from New Zealand who builds the bar out of scrap wood after every big storm.  Tisa, a stunning islander, was more than happy to feed us pre-dinner, dinner, and post-dinner, so she’s A-OK in my book.  At the barefoot bar we snorkeled and had dinner and drinks (some of them were virgin, don’t worry!).  I am not easily impressed by food, but the swordfish, steak, and shellfish that we had were easily in the top few dinners I have ever eaten.

Transportation on the island is simple and reasonably standard: bus, taxi, rental car, or Tivas.  You’ll be lucky if you get a rental, broke if you get a taxi (if you’re as poor as me), and blistered if you hoof it everywhere.  That leaves the buses, which are the most fun, anyway.  The buses on this island are heavily retrofitted pickup trucks.  Drivers take their steeds to the hardware store, hacksaw the truck apart, and rebuild it into a thoroughly cool plywood personnel carrier.  Engine capacity varies, some of the trucks used are massive F-450s but most are beat up 90’s Toyota Tacomas.  One thing that is universally overpowered is the stereos.  The Good Guys could use a tip or two from these audiophile masters: they use subwoofers as benches, and have tweeters the size of dinner plates.  The overall effect is one of gut-wrenching reggae bass and earsplitting treble shakers, a mix of music very conducive, along with the climate, to a sleepy, pleasant, bumpy ride.  These duck-like buses are cheap, only moderately slow, and completely rideable.  In other words, they are sweet beyond comprehension.